


Random Props

by Canaan



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Stand Alone, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-12
Updated: 2012-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-29 09:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canaan/pseuds/Canaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The TARDIS attics provide the most unexpected treasures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Random Props

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lindenharp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindenharp/gifts).



> Written for Lindenharp as a gift for Fandom Stocking 2011. BR by Yamx. Disclaimer: I don't own them and I'm not making any money.

"Doctor, where did you get a Revonian _mwipspige_?" Jack asked. Rose looked up from the trunk she was going through to see him holding a bronze globe the size of his hand built out of leaves of metal, kind of like the sections of an orange.

The Doctor never looked up from his task, which seemed to be shifting the accumulated bits and bobs of centuries from one large pile to another. "Revona, ninth century after the Great Restoration."

Since he wasn't looking, he didn't see Jack nod absently, then stare at him in disbelief, and then put the object reverently back where he'd got it from.

Rose hadn't known what to expect when the Doctor said they needed to look for something in one of the TARDIS's attics. She hadn't even known the TARDIS _had_ attics--the entire ship often seemed to be one giant attic, full of the accumulated random stuff the Doctor had collected in 900 years of life. She lifted enough clothing out of one end of the trunk to be sure nothing the size of a parasol could be hiding inside, then replaced it and closed the lid. "We couldn't just use any old parasol? I know there's a couple in the wardrobe room."

This time the Doctor looked up--apparently there was no point in rolling his eyes at her if she couldn't see it. She stuck out her tongue in reply. He said, "It's not a parasol--it just _looks_ like a parasol. Made from giant purple fish scales."

Rose sighed and picked a pile of pillows as her next victim. She began throwing them out of her way, then grinned to herself and threw one at Jack instead. It had the desired effect, as he abandoned what he was doing to join her on the opposite side of the pillow pile, and what had been a tedious chore turned into a pillow fight.

The Doctor didn't even look up, though she thought she heard him mutter darkly about stupid apes again.

Eventually, she got tired and signaled her surrender, and both of them flopped down amongst the pillows. Something hard jabbed in the back of the hip. "Ow!" She rolled off it and squirmed around to see what she'd hit. "What's an egg beater doing under the pillows?" She pulled on it and discovered it was attached to something like a grey mesh hat. In fact, the entire edge of the hat was hung around with egg beaters--well, really small egg beaters, she supposed. Maybe they were for really small eggs. She held it up and looked at Jack.

"Not quite your usual style, beautiful, but it could work."

She elbowed him and levered herself up out of the pillows. "Doctor?" She grabbed the hat and headed toward where she'd seen him last. The piles he'd been working through were unattended, but when she made it around the last bicycle and crawled under what looked like a giant aquarium on bronze lion's legs (and for all she knew, that was exactly what it was), she found him bent over with his head and shoulders thrust into . . . well, she supposed it could be a lime green car, except it wasn't the whole car, it was just the boot. Or what looked like the boot of a car, anyway. "Doctor?"

"Aha! Here it is!" He backed out of whatever it was, dragging the purple scale parasol out with him and brandishing it triumphantly. He turned to her, looked at the hat, and promptly dropped the parasol and his jaw at the same time.

Since whatever it was hadn't blown up yet, this ought to be good. "What is it?" Rose asked. "I couldn't figure out why there were egg beaters on a hat, but if it were just a hat, you wouldn't be standing there with your mouth hanging open."

The Doctor's mouth snapped shut so fast Rose actually heard his teeth click together.

She sighed. "Doctor?"

"Um. Why don't you just give that here?" He walked toward her, hand extended.

She held the hat behind her back and grinned, catching her tongue between her teeth. "Not until you tell me what it does, and why I found it under a pile of pillows."

He tried to go around her, and she heard Jack say, "Rose, here!" From just behind her. She handed it off to him, and he ran a few paces away, grinning.

The Doctor covered his face with one hand. She thought she heard, "mumble mumble sex toy."

That couldn't be right--the thing had egg beaters. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

He moved his hand. "Telepathic sex toy."

Jack burst out laughing while Rose blushed. "Who brought _that_ on board the TARDIS?" she asked.

"Not me, and that's all that matters!" the Doctor said gruffly.

"Who cares?" Jack said cheerfully, walking over to grab the Doctor by the wrist and drag him toward her. "I think I saw a bed behind that giant sperm."

Rose blinked and looked where he pointed. "I think it's meant to be a tadpole. Maybe an alien tadpole. And maybe a playground slide."

"It's a Nurelithk phase converter." The Doctor sounded a bit put out, but she could tell his hearts weren't in it.

When she looked back at Jack, she found him regarding her with raised eyebrows and a familiar smirk. "We could try it out on that if you want."

She blushed again and laced her fingers through the Doctor's other hand. "Let's try the bed."


End file.
